


Excerpts from the Memoir of Jane Porter

by Kazroo



Category: Tarzan - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:11:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazroo/pseuds/Kazroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See what was important to Jane as we delve into her personal diary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first new fiction in nearly a decade. Taking the time to break my older fics into chapters and rereading them as I post them seems to have relit the fire in me to play with words. I hope this little drabble of a fic is on par with some of my earlier works, because it has been fun thinking of how to twist the Tarzan tale in new ways. I don't know how long this will ultimately become, but it feels so good to be writing again.

…Father relented and let me go to Africa with him on the search for the lost heir, John Clayton, Jr. It has been so exciting. The boat ride was long, and I spent much of it locked in our stateroom because father feared one of the men would be _overwhelmed_ bythe presence of a woman onboard the ship. I will admit several of the men did stare as I boarded. It actually made me rather proud. I guess I could no longer pass for a boy!

We have been on Africa for three weeks, and have traveled many miles in a caravan. Father is still being overprotective – the native guide has made no secret of his admiration for my pale white skin, and father fears he will try to “claim” me. As a result, I am included in nearly every move he makes because he does not wish me to be left alone and vulnerable.

…Father thinks John Clayton may still be alive and living among the apes – everyone else thinks he has lost his mind, but father swears he has seen a large white creature in the trees that could not be an ape. For once I am being left alone in the tent…

…I am breathless – father was right – he came to the tent when no one was with me. I still can’t believe we came face to face. He touched me. He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. His eyes – they bored right through me. My knees felt weak. He was so near I could feel the heat from his skin. I have not told father, and I may not. The encounter was so…sudden. I am still trying to remember all of it. Just before he left (we heard a sound and he ran away), he leaned in and inhaled deeply. There was such a satisfied smiled on his face…

…They caught him. I really had hoped he’d have the chance to come to me again. He is unlike anyone I have ever known. I wanted to go to him, but father and all the others are keeping me arm’s length from the cage they put him in. A cage – can you believe it? I see no hint of violence in him. Of course he fought when they captured him – who would not? I see such longing on his face…

…I am so frustrated with father. He has not let me even see John since we returned home. He tells me “the boy is not civilized enough to socialize.” He will not stay clothed – I think father is just afraid I will see something. Sometimes at night, after father’s opera record has ended, I can hear him. He cries – it is oh so mournful, and sometimes it makes me cry too. I know I could soothe him if father would only let me…

…Tonight was magical. We have been home six months, and for the first time tonight, I was allowed to sup with father and John. His hair was tied back with a blue velvet ribbon, and the satin breeches fit him quite nicely! I guess father thinks he’s safe as long as we are not left alone. We had a moment in the hall after the meal. There is a narrow spot, and we bumped into each other. He took my hand, said “so sorry”, and kissed my wrist right at the pulse point. I’m sure I turned all shades red, and my temperature spiked. As he stood, that same satisfied smile took his lips as it did the first time we met in Africa. My heart skipped a beat, and he was hustled down the hall to his room. ..

…Nothing will ever be the same again – and I would not trade a moment. Several hours after we dined, I awoke to a warmth. I had been dreaming about John, and thought that was all there was to it – my body has been teasing me, warming me in places, chilling me in others, but this time it was not all in my mind. As I became aware enough of my surroundings, I knew I was not alone. John was standing against the edge of my mattress, and I could feel the heat of his body along my back. I looked over my shoulder as I tried to turn to face him, and I could tell that he was unclothed. It was then I became aware of his other hand. It was cupped over my private parts. I was terrified and excited at the same time. I shyly said, “I’ve never.” He bent his head close to my ear and said, “I will make you ready.” My whole body shivered. It was like he was reading my dreams.

One finger of his cupping hand slipped into the folds and I closed my eyes. He wiggled it back and forth and the butterflies in my stomach all took flight. My mouth was so dry, but his ministrations were having the opposite effect on my nether regions. I wanted him to continue, but I remembered my father was only one room away. “My father might hear,” I panted out. As if on cue, I could hear father’s phonograph switch on, and soon opera was spewing forth from it. John smiled at me – that satisfied smile again. He began stroking his finger again.

His other hand had peeled my nightgown off, exposing my whole body to him. My nipples spontaneously turned hard, and I felt wetter than I had ever been. John chose that moment to plunge his finger inside me three knuckles deep. I screamed out loudly, but it coincided with a high note in the opera aria from my father’s room, so no one could hear me (thankfully!). I think John had taken my virginity right then, but it did not matter. I was not going to stop him, and he would have my virginity rightfully before the hour was out.

He stroked me with his finger until it stopped hurting. His other hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me onto my back. His eyes locked on mine, and he grabbed my other arm. I was prepared to scream yet again as he steadied himself above me, but I was pleased to feel him slip inside me like he belonged there. Once again, the satisfied smile reappeared. He held me still and began to move in and out. I could barely breathe, but it felt so good. The opera aria hit its climax just moments before John hit his. I was tightening around him in a compelling pattern, calling out whenever the music allowed. His eyes never wavered, staring straight through me. His hands freed my arms and I wrapped them around his back along with my legs. I thought I had felt the greatest pleasure possible until that moment. I had to close my eyes.

Now, for the first time, his lips touched mine. His kiss was voracious, delicious, all consuming. I wanted to break the kiss until I realized it was keeping his voice quiet. Our lips moved against each other’s until he could control his sobs. As our lips parted, I opened my eyes and held his head at the temples. His eyes twinkled as a satisfied smile overtook my face. I never wanted to let go. I could still feel him inside me. He sensually ran the tip of his nose along my clavicle, inhaling deeply, and moaning as he exhaled. His whole body relaxed then and he pushed himself back. He slipped from me and collapsed to the floor below my bed. I draped myself over his shoulders and wrapped my arms across his chest. I knew it would sound desperate but I whispered in his ear, “please, come to me every night.” He smiled. “I came to you six months ago, wanting just this. It was worth the wait. I am glad you wish me to return. I do not think I could stop myself now.”

He quickly pulled me into his lap. “Again?” he said with a smirk. I replied, “Oh yes,” and there on the floor below my bed I let him take me again. It was heaven…


	2. 2

…It has been less than twelve hours since John introduced me to the pleasures of the flesh, and I am craving his touch. I still don’t know how he got out of his room last night, as it seems locked tighter than ever this day, but I hope he can get free again tonight and every night. I am crawling out of my skin waiting for his touch to return…

…Father has no idea what a gift he just gave me – he wants me to tutor John. We would be together hours each day even if I cannot touch him…

…We told John about my tutoring him tonight while we supped. I could tell he was excited, but he controlled his emotions well. When father turned his back to pour his nightcap, John reached across the table and caressed my wrist in a circular motion. I almost melted to the floor, and had to cover my moan with a fake hiccough lest father get a clue…

…The opera started and John appeared. Father’s choice was even louder than last night, so we did not fear. His hands explored me, touched every inch. I enjoyed him inside me ever so much – he let me be on top! We talked about father’s plan for me to tutor him, and he said it’s only fair after what he was teaching me. I asked him how he got out of his room, but his answer was vague…

…I had a prolonged time to examine John’s body. His musculature is impressive. I do still find it amazing that he was able to “prepare” me for him with just his finger now that I’ve seen the extent of his girth…

…I knew it would drive both John and my father crazy, but I wore my lowest cut dress for my first tutoring session with John. Father took me aside and advised me “that dress may not be a good idea in front of John.” I wonder what father would have said had he known I was sans all under garments as well, just in case John and I could not resist. He still keeps casting that satisfied smile at me, like he knows something I don’t…

…John is becoming increasingly adventurous during our rendezvous – twisting me into positions I did not know a human could get into – but I have never enjoyed something so much. Tonight I clung to the high headboard and wrapped my legs around John. He looked up the plane of my body and smiled, and then he took me to pleasure three times over. John had to hold me up when we were done; my limbs were limp noodles…

…Tonight I left my nightgown hanging over the bedpost, and just covered with the blanket. When John arrived, he whipped the covers off. I awoke with a start as John wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me up onto my knees. Luckily, every night since John first came to me, I have had dreams and fantasies that have kept my body in a prepared state. He did not wait to see if I was awake, which scares me some, but this animalistic approach was quite arousing. John squeezed and kneaded at my breasts until my back arched. Something new happened after that. This feeling began building deep inside of me. John was touching so many places – I wanted to scream it felt so good. I bent my head back and was able to kiss John upside down to contain my voice. I thought my body would shake apart. The bed was creaking under us. I dropped my head down and cradled it in my own arms, muffling my cries as John nearly bent me in half. The wave that overtook me was overwhelming. He later told me that was called an orgasm, all I know is I have never slept more soundly after any other experience…

…Every night for weeks John has come to me, and every day we have been in the library. It is as if I have two men in my life who are completely separate. In the library he is so studious, serious, but our conversations are lively and informative. Then come nightfall, he is quiet, but oh so intense. I suppose words are not needed for our nightly interactions, but I would like to hear something other than a moan - now and then. He just flashes that satisfied smile – I want to know what he thinks he knows that I do not. After all these nights together, what could he know that I do not?...

…John surprised me in the bath tonight. He rubbed the soap all over my body, and scrubbed me clean. I loved the way his hands slid over my soap slippery skin, and once again John went animalistic. Apparently feeling him that way brings out my animal side because I once again experienced what John told me is an orgasm. I have a feeling there may be books in the library that John has been privy to that are kept from me. Now that the evening meal is over, I am left anticipating John’s arrival. Tonight I AM going to ask what that smile of his is all about!!...

…My hand is shaking so – John can not be right. But the calendar does not lie. In the calm afterglow, John rolled to his side and admired my body, his hand skimming my abdomen, and the satisfied smile was wider than ever, so I asked, “what is it that makes you smile so?” At first he just laughed. “You must know by now.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean at all. You smiled at me like this in Africa, so it cannot be because I let you in my bed each night.” He replied “I have come to your bed each night for over six weeks. There has been no night you have given me a reason for us not to be together.” He kissed me just above the navel and sniffed his way back up to look me in the eyes. “I made sure to come to you the correct night.” I sat up on the bed, a wave of nerves rippling up my back. John couldn’t understand that I couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell me. I had been enjoying these new sensations so much I had let myself become oblivious to the ramifications. John slid down to his knees, put a hand on each of my thighs. I looked at his hands as I struggled for words. “How could you know?” John took my left hand and sniffed from the pulse point in my wrist up to the elbow. “I could smell it. It was the same as I smelled in Africa, and that night in the hall six weeks ago, I knew. I could resist no longer, so I came to you that night. You seemed pleased to have me. Have I been wrong all these nights?” “ Oh, John,” I replied, “These nights have been magical. Our first night still fires my dreams, but – but, oh John,” I began to sob. John pulled me into his arms. He was so confused. He began to sob, too. I woke at first light, and John was still holding me. I shook him awake frantically. “You must get back to your room before you are noticed to be missing.” He began to leave, but steps from the door he stopped and looked back at me. He looked close to tears. “If you wish, I will not return tonight,” he sadly spoke. I was horrified at that thought. I went to him and nestled in his arms. “No, please no. I need you more than ever.” He was so relieved I thought he would hug me right through himself. He held my head and kissed me, then quickly made his retreat. Now I have a lot of time to think about what John told me – if John is right, and I have no reason to doubt him, I have been pregnant since he took my virginity…


	3. 3

…Today’s tutoring session was torture. I wanted to talk about last night, but father stayed in the library looking at the large atlas. I just wanted to throw myself into John’s arms…

…As I sit at my desk writing this, I have done a lot of thinking. I went through my calendar – John is right, I am well past due, and even if he was not successful the first night, he has had weeks now. I cannot imagine how to tell father…

…When John came to me last night, I was more nervous than I was the first time he appeared to me. And for the first time he was clothed. He held me gently and kissed me softly. The air was heavy, clouded with all we did not say yesterday. “You are right,” I told him, “My calendar confirms it. Barring some medical condition suddenly acquired I…I…I am having your baby,” I stuttered out, still afraid to say it, or ever hear it. John said nothing, but smiled. “I have done a lot of thinking,” I started, “And I think we should run away together. We could find a town where no one knows us, get married, no one would ever know this child was created out of wedlock.” John cut off my words with a kiss, and then he stared deeply into my eyes. “I have no desire to run.” The pit of my stomach churned. “We belong here.” I gulped. “My father…” “Will understand,” he completed my thought. I was mesmerized by his gaze. He turned me as he took a seat on the ottoman, holding me in front of him. I find I cannot deny him. I soaked an entire page of this journal in ink when my robe knocked the well as I cast it aside. I released the two large buttons on the hips of his breeches and revealed him. I had never seen him so aroused, or felt more compelled to crawl atop him. He steadied me until he was well seated within me, then he caressed my breasts, first with his hands, and then the most glorious feeling of his lips surrounding my nipples. I had my first face to face orgasm. Once our physical needs had been met, there was something I needed to know, something I had been thinking about all day, so I asked, “John, why would you want to impregnate me so quickly?” John stroked my back and took a deep breath. “You must understand, the way I was raised, second only to survival is the mating instinct. There was a chance you would reject further mating. When I smelled your fertility, I had to act.” It made such sense, from his point of view. “So it was pure instinct? Is that how you knew how to make me ready?” He chuckled. “The mating was instinct; the readying of your body was learned.” “Learned?” “Several books that were part of my basic education since I was brought here related that a human female would respond better if gentled into sexual contact,” John related. “Your finger was not gentle that first night,” I countered, “But still you did not stop me,” John said with lightness in his voice. “My curiosity was stronger than my fear,” I said. “I am glad of that,” John stated. “How do we tell father?” I lamented as I lay on top of John’s body…

…I overheard my father and John talking tonight, and I don’t know what to think. John was telling my father “she keeps asking how I am getting out,” and , “I think she would understand if you told her the truth,” he followed that with, “I love her very much.” What is going on? He will be coming to me tonight, and I don’t know what to do…

…I tried to be stern, but John brings out wantonness in me. Such lustfulness –I should be able to control it, but truth be told I have less control each time he comes to me. My bed was in ruins, and my body was in rapture. We were so loud, but now I know why father does not come running in to save me – and it has nothing to do with opera! I asked John about his conversation with father – that I had overheard, and would not be kept in the dark any longer. John clung tightly to me as he explained. “Your father gave me the key to my room and then the key to your room. While he did not tell me to come to you, I knew by his actions that he had not forbade it. He told me he feared you were so loyal to him, that no man would be in your future, but that he had seen a spark in you whenever you asked after me. I had been unable to get your scent out of my mind, and the sniff of you after that first sup – I would have died had I not come to you – died from the longing. And when you did not make violent actions to stop me, you did not scream out for someone to save you from me, I could think of nothing more than mating with you.” Father had known all along. There had been other opportunities, and he seemed so overprotective. But John explained further. “For the first six months of my time here, your father slowly educated me. He tamed my more wild impulses. Six weeks ago he believed I had been taught enough to earn the key to my room. He did not know you were not locking your room at night.” “But he gave you my key, you said.” “He gave me your key after I told him you succumbed to me, and bade me visit you nightly.” “So he knew you planned the timing to impregnate me?” “No. That was something I did not share. He simply thought to see how you would respond to my advances. He was surprised how quickly I succeeded, though he did say if you are anything like your mother I may have unleashed a force of nature. But beyond me telling him you were not injured, he cared not for the details.” “I want to be angry – I should be angry. You two have conspired to rob me of my virginity. But until these last few weeks, I knew nothing of pleasure.” I got up and hit John with my pillow three times. He grabbed my hands and wrested the pillow away from me, holding me with one arm and the pillow with the other. “What is this about?” John asked, furrowed brow aimed at me. “You could have been with me all through each night. We could have languished in each other’s arms,” I said in mock anger. John dropped the pillow and drew me into his arms. He decided against words, kissing me as we sank to the floor – oh heaven!!...

…Today I stood in front of the full length mirror trying to see if there were any changes to my body. John says he can see a little bump, and it makes him so proud, but I do not see a thing. All I know is my passion for him grows nightly, and despite the way father and he conspired behind my back, I love John as I have loved no other. I do not think any other man could please me so. Perhaps father was right. I may not have let John deflower me had I known my father approved…

…Father has still said nothing about me being with John despite the fact that John has moved into my chamber, and we spend most hours of the day rolling around in my bed. I have yet to have a sick day, or a day when I don’t desire John inside me. The reality of a baby has not yet come into focus, and John is keeping me happily distracted, but we must tell father at some point…

…I kissed John in front of father today. I stood fully up and leaned across the breakfast table. From the corner of my eye I could see father’s eyes grow wide. He began to sputter and choke when John vaulted over the table, grabbed me up into his arms, and we kissed our way back to my room. I am watching John sleep right now – it is calming to watch him breathe, and his body is living sculpture. I would be perfectly happy if John never put a stitch of clothing on, merely walked around like the David statue come to life. I think I will rejoin him on the bed – he seems to be stirring…


	4. 4

…John and father had their heads together as I came in for sup; it made me nervous, but as soon as John saw me he came and dropped to one knee in front of me. “I know we have not gone about courting the traditional way, and know I will be with you forever no matter your answer, but I must ask you to be my bride.” I folded to my knees and pulled John down on top of me on the floor. Father kept clearing his throat louder and louder until we were both back on our feet. John and I were holding hands, just staring into each other’s eyes when father reached out the ring he had given to mother when they were betrothed. “Was that a yes?” John joked. I replied, “yes, oh a hundred times yes.” John somehow got the ring on my finger while my hand shook. An impish spirit got into me at that moment and I turned my face toward father. “By the way, I am two months along; John timed it to be so.” I think I saw him grab his chest as he staggered over to the drinks and downed a VERY large portion. “I guess you found a way to tell your father,” John hummed in my ear, a hint of schadenfreude in his tone…

…Father scheduled our wedding quickly. I guess my pregnancy revelation lit a fire under him. For the next week John and I barely surfaced –and not a surface in my room was without a print from some part of my body – including an entire back print on the mirror – mine on one side, his on the other! Oh, and the things we did in the tub. I think I am beginning to show, but my breasts are overshadowing my abdomen in a shocking fashion. No dress can fully contain them, and on several occasions John has shadowed me and tugged my dress up to cover what has escaped. A letter arrived yesterday from John’s only living relative – and he was angry. I guess John falling in love with me was not part of his plan. Apparently we can expect a visit from Richard Clayton within the week. I should be rightly plump, and clearly pregnant to be presented to him!!...

…Richard Clayton is a balding, arrogant imbecile, but he does enjoying overflowing cleavage by the way he eyed me when I curtsied. He would have been only too happy had I come free of my dress. He was only too aware of our wedding date, and that I appeared to be too far along for the child to have come after the nuptials. His lascivious smile made me uncomfortable. Were I still a virgin I believe I would have much to fear from him – he has been aroused since he arrived, and his pants have been oft touched. I made sure John locked us in tonight, and I sure hope he feels strong, because I am overwhelmed with urges, and switching in my seat right now. Hmm – John is right at my shoulder pulling the robe off me – oh my, can’t write more͜Ԇ͠ϓ

…By the way he was eyeing me this morning, I have the feeling Richard Clayton had his ear pressed to our bedroom wall. I was unexpectedly vocal last night – John brought forth such moans from me that even I was embarrassed. (and he has looked smug ever since)…

…Can you imagine it? Richard tried to entice me to his bed – compared to John the man is a garden troll. He must think me a trollop who would have a dalliance if the price was high enough. I told John and he tore a pillow in half. I have calmed him, but by the raised voices in the library, he is making his point…

…John told me he picked his uncle up by the collar and hooked him to the top of the library ladder. He was succinct, telling the man, “I claimed her and no other man has visitations upon her body. Do you understand? She is mine!” I wish he was here right now so I could show my appreciation…

…There is a great commotion outside, but John told me not to come out until he came and called for me. I am scared. If John hurts his uncle all might be lost, and I am scared for father as well…

…John knocked and announced himself, asking me to open the doors. His hands were covered in blood, and I feared the worst. “Oh, John, what has happened?” I asked. He grimaced a bit even growled as he thought about what had just happened. “I have relinquished my right to the Clayton inheritance.” “How does that leave you bloodied? My God, John, what did you do?” John began to smile now, telling me “I punctuated my signature by securing the document through Richard Clayton’s back with his own pen!” He snorted with laughter. I blushed as I held in a laugh of my own. We looked to each other and smirked. I took John over to the wash stand and cleaned his hands. “Not a knick on you, my love,” I informed him. He wrapped me in his arms and sighed deeply. “Something more happened, didn’t it?” I asked. “My uncle offered to give me half the inheritance if I gave him a night with you – even after I warned him. He wanted me to make you submit ‘like I did’. Is that how you feel about our first time? Did you feel forced? Am I” – he cast his eyes down – “an uncivilized brute?” I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. “No,” I said as a tear escaped. “I should have told you long ago, John. I had been dreaming about you coming to me ever since Africa. There are times I wish we had not been interrupted that night. It may not have been as gentle, but I, too, was acting on instinct that night, and I would have given myself to you. “ John slipped my breasts out of the top of my dress and nuzzled and kneaded until my knees went weak. “Show me how it would have been if you had taken me in Africa the first night we met,” I begged, dropping the dress to the floor. We pulled the curtains around my bed to make a tent, and John started with the caress to my cheek. “You are she,” he whispered, sniffing the nape of my neck. I was shivering. “You would not have been naked yet.” “Don’t be so sure. At least in my mind all my clothes fell off the moment you entered the tent. – alright, this is me unbuttoning-“ “And this is me tearing your top off to expose your body.” John pressed his nakedness against mine. Little goose bumps came up, as did my nipples and a lump in my throat. I was completely submissive. The satisfied smile made me shiver again. John lightly growled as he ran his nose down between my breasts. I melted to my knees. John jumped over my shoulders and pulled my backside up by the hips. He mouthed my shoulder blades. John drove himself in, holding himself deep, and I gasped. “It would have been hard for me not to scream. It was shocking even now.” John drove hard in and out until his seed filled me. “What would you have done if I turned and held you?” “I don’t know. I might have carried you off and mated with you all night.” I shivered with delight. “And now?” I asked. “I will definitely mate with you all night.” My eyes rolled back as John lowered me to the bed. “I love you more each day,” I proclaimed. He growled with great satisfaction…


End file.
